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&i=
excl;ã
Kim Eun-soo (1) is not lonely anymore in his mother? arms.
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Love story? Kind of. Love that is mightier than any kind=
in
the world; between mother and child. A mother wrote this poem for her s=
on,
Eun-soo, who became her most adorable son from May, 2005. She did not
suffer from any physical pain to give Eun-soo birth, but only had her h=
eart
full of love. Not painful at all, but a more difficult way to have a ch=
ild
is by adoption.
No. 1 in exporting children?
However
happy it can be, adoption in Korea has been a serious
problem so far. While the economical situation in Korea has
remarkably developed, children's welfare still seems to remain in the 7=
0s.
In the past, people were unconscious about adopting a child, which is an
important factor in children's welfare. Hence, when it came to adoption=
, it
was inevitable to completely rely on foreign countries, especially on <=
st1:country-region
w:st=3D"on">America.
However, after 30 years of economical development followed by growing
understanding in welfare, domestic adoptable children are still in great
supply, but demand does not seem to follow. According to the survey
conducted by Ministry of Health and Welfare in 2004, only 1,641 children
were adopted domestically out of 3,899 total adopted children last year=
. Korea is even known as a country of
adoptions in Bel=
gium;
with its' 5,000 adopted Koreans among about 5,500 Korean residents.
Thousands of adopted Korean children growing abroad have difficulties in
establishing their own identities, confused by different appearances and
cultures around them.
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&i=
excl;ã
Babies in an adoption center<=
/o:p>
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Prejudice, highest wall to jump =
over
"It is lineage that makes adoption rare. Koreans are reluctant abo=
ut
accepting others' children as a member of a family and families related=
to
adoption are thought to be inferior to them," says Lee Sung-hee,
Publicist of Eastern Social Welfare Society, Inc. Traditional prejudice=
in
Korean society is a hindrance to domestic adoptions. To Koreans, who st=
ill
attach much importance to lineage, adopting a child is not naturally
accepted. Still, adoption in Korea is only a story of
others, which will never relate to most people in general. "I
understand how important and righteous it is to adopt a child, though I=
am
not sure I might try it. Placing myself as a parent, I am not confident
enough to love an adopted child equally to my own child," says Kim
Ha-rim (Sr., Dept of Public Admin.). In contrast to Americans, who adopt
65,000 children internationally regardless of their nationality, Koreans
are too conservative about adopting Korean children. A fixed idea of the
society that lineage should be maintained makes adoption strange and od=
d.
Even more, a family with an adopted child is considered abnormal.
"Under these circumstances, adoption in Korea is mostly practiced
secretly," says Lee Hyun-joo, a staff in Public Relation team of H=
olt
Children's Services, Inc.
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&i=
excl;ã
Above A campaign to encourage domestic adoption
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Adoption system, is it in the ri=
ght
order?
Besides
consciousness, qualifications for adoption are controversial. Children's
Service Organizations have their own standards such as being married, o=
ver
25 years old, less than 50 in age gap, and mentally and physically heal=
thy.
Some people insist that qualifications should be lightened to encourage
more adoptions in our society. However, Children's Service Organizations
show firm opinions about this controversy. "The standard is never =
too
complicated. Since a child cannot choose their life by themselves and a=
re
defenseless about their future parents and future home, we cannot but m=
ake
the most conservative choice," explains Lee. Park Jin-hee, Eun-soo=
's
mother supports, "We did not find the qualifications picky; it was=
the
best for the organization to send a child to a wholesome environment.
Children should be sent to a guaranteed circumstance if possible."
Still, many people suggest that we should give unmarried people a chanc=
e to
adopt children, based on the fact that even unmarried people can also b=
e a mother
or a father in foreign countries. "Qualifications should not be
compared to foreign countries'; each society has different backgrounds =
and
views about adoption. Especially in a country like Korea where negative
opinions are predominant, adopting conditions should be more
cautious," say Eun-soo's parents.
Different opinions around
commissions
Not all people are financially ready to adopt. However, for an adoption=
, a
parent must pay two million won as an adoption fee to the organization.
Adoption organizations in Korea are not authorized by the government but
are private, unlike some other developed countries in which adoption
organizations are publicly appointed and subsidies are given from the
government. With adoption families burdened by commissions, controversi=
es
arise again. "Two million won is like another qualification we are
asking for. It is for us to judge the economic competence of a
parent," says Lee. "It would have cost even more than two mil=
lion
if we were to prepare to give birth. Since the government cannot handle=
all
the children who are left out, it'd be better to think that commissions=
are
for helping other children who are in the same difficult circumstances;=
in
need of parent's love," adds Eun-soo's parents. The best way is for
government subsidies to be provided. "Both adoption organizations =
and
family's burden would be lessened in that way," says Lee from the
Holt.
Step closer to a better society =
for
adoption
To
settle adoption in our society, the foremost task is a change in our
consciousness. "The most important thing is tolerance, accepting t=
he
others' differences. Just like childbirth, adoption should be naturally
regarded as another means to have a baby in our society," says Lee
from the Eastern Social Welfare Society. This positive change in adopti=
on,
however, can never be fixed when it is done secretly. "Every year,
thousands of children are adopted, but secretly. If adoptions are opera=
ted
openly and viewed as a bright side of our society with the help of medi=
a,
organizations, and government, adoptions will also be accepted naturall=
y in
our society," say Eun-soo's parents.
As well as qualifications and commissions in need of government subsidi=
es,
more improvements are needed. Various programs like adoption family's
gatherings or meetings should be held constantly. These programs will
draw sympathy and encourage each other in raising a child. "=
We
haven't tried yet, but for Eun-soo, we would like to participate sooner=
or
later," say Eun-soo's parents. Also, a mothering program for child=
ren
before getting adopted should be organized as well. Children need nothi=
ng
but care of mother. One to one system should be made for children's
emotional development. This system, of course, can only be actualized by
heartful volunteers. Additionally, like maternity leave, paid
holidays should be made for adopting a child. By raising public
consciousness and improving procedures, open adoption will be more wide=
ly
accepted in Korea.
Act your love
"Many people, even I was afraid of adopting a child because of the
misunderstanding that it is sacrificing to just give love. But the more=
I
give and sacrifice myself, I know that I gain much more from Eun-soo,&q=
uot;
says Park. Adopting a child in Korea is full of misunderstanding and
prejudice. But adoption is nothing but giving birth by heart; not=
hing
is complicated or difficult as people fear. Eun-soo's parents are
confident. "People never know how deeply blessed we are to have
Eun-soo. Never know; until you act your love." =
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